Greed (2024)


Picture of a cigarette in a heart shaped ashtray.

“When I'm down I don't kill myself because then
the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint
under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken
shoulder: I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring.”
- Neil Hilborn, The Future


Lately I’ve been indulging in life,
floating through the cool springs of anger,
and embracing guilt like privilege.
I confess
I’ve been extravagant with my fashion,
my depression my style of being,
my style being
beige necklaces slick with sweat,
purple stamps across my neck,
feet fluttering in the air.
I admit,
I’ve surrendered to indolence,
daydreaming and ruminating in my bed,
my silk cases hefting my heavy head.
And I recognize my habits
of cycles bloated with rich despair,
and complete besottment with fermented fear.
I acknowledge
my gluttony in confessions
for the struggle of living.